The Brew: Who Brought Cocaine Into the White House?
"Uh, Hunter? You wouldn't happen to know who's dropping cocaine around the house, do you?" "The Russians? Got it."
Happy Wednesday!
We hope you had a wonderful 4th of July. Do you think any of the Founding Fathers woke up the morning after their break-up with England wondering, “Did I do the right thing?”
Poor Bud Light seems incapable of doing the right thing. More on that in a bit.
But first, remember when the only white powder associated with presidents was the powder on their wigs?
High Time at the White House? Report: Cocaine Found in West Wing?
Fireworks weren’t the only thing flying high at the White House this long holiday weekend.
A white powder found in the West Wing of the White House Sunday triggered an emergency hazardous material call. The building was evacuated. A preliminary field test indicated the substance was cocaine, the Washington Post reported. ‘We have a yellow bar saying cocaine hydrochloride,’ a D.C. firefighter radioed at 8:49 on Sunday, according to the Post.
The New York Post reported the coke was found in the White House Library. However, multiple Secret Service sources are telling James Rosen of Newsmax the cocaine was found in a baggie in the “work area” of the West Wing. CBS News narrowed that down further to a “cubby” in a storage area in the West Wing.
In case your mind immediately went there, yes, Hunter Biden had been at the White House two days prior, according to the Daily Mail. But to be clear, at this point, authorities have no idea how the cocaine got into the White House or who it belonged to. (Or if they do know they aren’t saying.) But that hasn’t stopped the jokes and memes.
51 current & former intelligence officials have determined it’s Russian baking powder.
— Ultra Trumpian (@billbarnett65) July 4, 2023
By the way, as of 9 a.m., CNN’s website had no mention of cocaine being found at the White House. But they did have as a top story “Malfunction has Taylor Swift sprinting off stage. See what happened.” Nothing was also found about it on MSNBC, CBS News, NBC News, ABC News. The outlets did start to catch up as the day went on. Though amusingly, MSNBC.com had five Trump stories before you could scroll down to drugs being found in the White House library.
Speculation on a Summer Morn
If it is Hunter’s — aside from the unfortunately personal tragedy of an addict falling off the wagon — you’ve got to wonder: Why would the “smartest guy” Joe knows risk bringing coke into the White House when he’s rapidly closing in on a sentencing date on his guilty pleas? When he seems to have skated when the charges could have been much more serious? Self-sabotage? Or do you buy into the idea that on some level a resentful Hunter wants to sabotage his father?
You are seeing noise about how “cocaine hydrochloride” is used in a solution to numb nasal membranes before surgery and can be used to stop bleeding. So who’s having surgery in the West Wing without the American public being told about it?
Now if this were a political thriller, they would have planted the coke in Kamala’s office. Frame her as a drug abuser to force her off the ticket. Half the time she acts like she’s on something, so that’s an easy sell. But would this White House stoop that low? They’re framing parents as domestic terrorists and unarmed people in George Washington costumes as insurrectionists. Not saying that’s what happened but it would make for a good summer beach read.
Please Support The Stream: Equipping Christians to Think Clearly About the Political, Economic, and Moral Issues of Our Day.
If it is Hunter’s — and yes, it’s a big if — what will the White House do? Stonewall? Hope the story gets buried by the holiday? Blame the Russians?
One of two things: You will see a statement from Joe and Dr. Jill:
“Jill and I are very proud of our son. Like a great percentage of people who battle substance addiction, Hunter did suffer a relapse amid the unending and false assaults on his character by MAGA Republicans. He has recognized the need to return to rehab and return to full health. We love Hunter are proud of his decision to face his disease head on. The White House will have no further comment on this private matter.”
Or by noon, the Department of Justice will leak a highly damaging story about Donald Trump.
As Two Bottling Plants Close, Bud Light Releases New Ad in Hopes of Regaining Customers … It Ain’t Going Well
Bud Light is trying to win back customers after its catastrophic Dylan Mulvaney fiasco. The latest effort is a commercial featuring Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce called “Backyard Grunts With Travis Kelce.”
So showing men who are incapable of speaking beyond primate level is how you make up for featuring a gabby male who dolls up like a little girl? No scratching and burping?
The latest ad campaign comes as two bottling plants used by Bud Light have been forced to close, due to the plummeting sales. The Ardaugh group, which runs plants in North Carolina and Louisiana, announced the two facilities will shut down in mid-July. About 645 people will lose their jobs.
Fox News reports one seller in Lemoyne, Pa. is so desperate to move stocks of Bud Light, a 30-pack of Bud Light is going for $8.99 after rebate. “At this point, it’s cheaper than some of the cases of water we’re selling in the back,” said Andy Wagner, manager of Glenn Miller Beer & Soda Warehouse.
The former President of Anheuser-Busch is calling for current CEO Brendan Whitworth to resign. “Whitworth has clearly shown himself to be incapable of solving the Mulvaney crisis,” Frericks wrote in an op-ed for the Daily Mail. “It’s time he did the right thing and stepped aside to make way for someone capable of righting the sinking Bud Light ship.”
The GOAT: Joey Chesnut Wins Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest …. Again.
After a rain delay, Joey Chesnut again devoured the competition in the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island. Chesnut downed 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes … a far cry from his 2021 record of 76, but easily enough to win. Second place finisher Jeffrey Esper gobbled 49. Miki Sudo won the women’s competition with 39.5 hot dogs in 10 minutes. This was Chesnut’s seventh straight win and 16th over all. Sudo hasn’t lost since 2014, but missed 2021 while pregnant.
Sound of Freedom Opened July 4th
Sound of Freedom opened yesterday. Presales topped $10 million even before the movie opened in over 2,600 locations, according to industry publication Deadline. Right now, Deadline is predicting a $20 million first-week opening. Thinking that’s going to be low.
Meanwhile, the theme song from Sound of Freedom has been released.
Some of the lyrics:
Find love in a hopeless time
Find hope in the hardest night
The darker the sky
The brighter shines the light
Find faith for the terrified
Find strength, know you’ll survive
The darker the sky
The brighter shines the light.
In case you missed it, here’s John Zmirak’s interview with Sound of Freedom star Jim Caviezel.
Along The Stream
I am going to be taking a few days off. The great John Z will be throwing down for ya’.
Also, if you missed it, here’s our “Interview with George Washington.” Big thanks to Timothy Furnish for his help pulling this off.
Al Perrotta is the Managing Editor of The Stream, chief barista for The Brew and co-author, with John Zmirak, of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration. You can follow him at @StreamingAl at GETTR, Gab, Parler, and now at TRUTH Social.
