Here at The Stream, we pay really close attention to the news. We’re like bloodhounds tracking an escaped prisoner. We’re like hawks flying high above the ground looking for their dinner on the ground. We’re like teenagers scanning the refrigerator for just the right snack. We’re like … okay, you get the idea.

Some stories don’t get very much media attention. You can guess the reasons. The mainstream media has its agenda. Those people want you to know some things and they don’t want you to know others. So I’ve compiled a list of the underreported stories from 2019 I think you should know about. Some will surprise you. Some won’t.

You won’t be able to google these stories and find them on the internet because they didn’t receive any coverage.

1. Bernie Sanders added the Socialist Party’s platform to his website. It went ignored by the media because it doesn’t sound any different than the Democratic Party’s platform.

2. Joe Biden was caught hugging an entire Girl Scout troop. It was ignored by the media because they’ve grown accustomed to “Creepy Uncle Joe” groping young girls.

3. Planned Parenthood changed the description on their website to offer abortions a few seconds after the baby emerges. No one noticed because it’s been exposed by Project Veritas that they’ve been doing this all along.

4. Antifa finally admitted they are a white supremacist organization. This came as no surprise to anyone since its members are some of the whitest, pastiest Millennials living in their parents’ basements. They hide behind black masks and black clothing to hide their whiteness. No one found it newsworthy since everyone suspected it all along.

5. Al Gore went to the Arctic to complain about climate change and global warming and got stuck in a glacier while he was looking for polar bears. He froze for hours until others were able to chop up the ice and get him out.

6. Michael Moore got caught making moves on Kourtney Kardashian. It was notable because she got really mad that he would dare to think he had a chance, and she started yelling at him on live TV. “You’re twice my age and twice my size! Go away!”

7. James Comey got caught trying to blend in with curtains again. The first time, he stood in front of dark blue curtains in the White House, wearing a dark blue suit. Even though he is 6’8, he hoped by standing there President Trump would not notice him. The second time he was appearing on Fox News with other guests and wanted to avoid tough questions. He sat in the back of the stands that had been set up for guests and tried to blend in with the blue curtains in the back.

8. Barack Obama got offended by a man who wished him a Merry Christmas. He said, “Don’t say that. It celebrates a white, heterosexual, patriarchal man who many people find offensive. Instead, you should say Happy winter solstice.”

9. President Trump gave Nancy Pelosi a hug and didn’t let go until she started squirming.

10. Hillary Clinton started a fashion line for women, Fashion by Hillary. It features pantsuits and mumu dresses in bright colors and busy patterns.

This is a parody. Follow Rachel on Twitter at Rach_IC. Follow The Stream at streamdotorg. Send tips to rachel.alexander@stream.flywheelstaging.com.