Facebook Live videos now appear in my newsfeed almost as often as fake news. I didn’t think much of this until I read an article in The New York Times called “Keeping Up, on Camera, Is No Longer Just for the Kardashians.” It explains that “a small but growing number of entrepreneurs … [are turning] their lives into do-it-yourself reality shows. They pay videographers, editors and producers thousands of dollars a month to shadow them and create content for their social media platforms.” And they often get thousands of viewers.

I used to joke with friends that “our lives should be a reality TV show.” Usually I’d make this joke after some especially embarrassing escapade, the blow of which I wish could be softened by looking into a nearby camera and shrugging it off like Jim Halpert in The Office.

Now, it’s not just a joke. What the Times calls “do-it-yourself reality shows” are becoming, well, reality. And not just for the entrepreneurs who can afford a crew.

Facebook isn’t the only platform with a “live” function. Instagram has it too. Twitter has for a while. While Snapchat doesn’t allow live videos, it does allow you to post a string of short videos on your “story.” Watched one after another, they can feel like a reality show-type glimpse into someone’s day.

So what’s the deal with these live streaming and video functions? Why do people use them to share so much, so often? And do they really help us build authentic communities?

Our Lives as a Story

Live-streaming on social media validates a feeling we already have: that our lives are a story and we are the main character. “The default mode of human cognition is a narrative mode,” a psychology expert told The Atlantic in 2015. It makes sense that we’re drawn to the idea of actually starring in our own life story, by way of home videos shared instantly with acquaintances. 

Some people, like the entrepreneurs in the Times piece, use their life stories as motivational tools. As the Times writes, “They ‘star’ as part motivational speaker, part life coach, as they dispense advice and speak enthusiastically about the hustle.” Other people may just want to tell a part of their story they feel deserves sharing. Of course, everyone hopes that people will watch. Watching the story indicates it has meaning. And to some, it means not feeling alone.

Gerard Adams of Elite Daily told the Times, “The more vulnerable you are, the more you will build trust and a real community and people who will take the ride with you.”

Different Kinds of Community

But will they really? In 2016, Robin Dunbar of Oxford University examined whether Facebook friends were real friends. It turns out that out of an average of 150 friends, only around 5 were “close friends.” Only around 15 could be counted on “for emotional/social support in times of crisis.” The numbers confirm what Dunbar’s previous research revealed. We generally need about 15 people, including friends and family, as part of our real life support system. In fact, those people are necessary to our health.

They’re the ones who will “take the ride with you.” Your Facebook friends, Instagram followers and live stream viewers will watch the ride. But they won’t be sitting next to you through all its twists and turns. 

Here’s the danger of DIY reality TV by way of social media: It can give us the illusion that they will. And as we become more consumed with our online community, we risk failing to reach out to the people who, in Adams’ words, will actually “take the ride” with us.

As Holly Shakya, who authored a study on the negative effects of Facebook, says: “Where we want to be cautious … is when the sound of a voice or a cup of coffee with a friend is replaced with ‘likes’ on a post.” Shouldn’t that go for views on a Facebook Live video as well?

Not All Bad

That doesn’t mean that live-streaming functions are all bad. When not used as the sole means of communication between friends, they can help us stay in touch with a wider circle of friends and acquaintances.

Live-streaming can also be part of a less personal, but still helpful community. Partaking in national holiday traditions and tweeting about a popular show at the same time as other fans can make you feel like you’re a part of a bigger movement. This unifies vast groups and helps form social cohesion. We can build these types of groups around social media-driven DIY “reality shows.”

But like any use of social media, we should see our ability to stream our lives for what it is. Otherwise, we risk further isolating ourselves from the real people that we all need.