Now I’m as capable of sarcasm and scorn as the next guy … and indeed as capable as Our Lord proved Himself when He confronted the highest religious authorities who accosted Him, and called them:

• “Child[ren] of Hell.”
• “Blind guides.”
• “A brood of vipers.”
• “Whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within … are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” (Matthew 23, 13-34)

That’s the kind of winsomeness which we Christians are called to. Not all the time to be sure, but surely at some times. When? When we address those who preach the “new gospel” of Antichrist, which rejects Jesus’ message and His Father’s morals, but hijacks His compassion in order to sell us abortion, perversion, and child mutilation. If we do any less, we aren’t imitating Christ, but at best the cowardly Peter. At worst, we’re channeling Judas.

Jesus Didn’t Schmooze with King Herod

Jesus spoke truth to power, and afflicted the comfortable. He also spoke mercy to weakness, and comforted the afflicted. You don’t see Him accusing the penitent adulteress, rejecting outcast tax collectors, or scorning Samaritan women. Nor do you see Him chatting amicably with Herod, patting Pilate on the back and reassuring him, or cozying up to the Sadducees.

That’s for Progressive Christians today. It’s their task to comfort the comfortable, to step forth and minister to the papercuts FBI agents endure when they persecute pro-lifers. Or peaceful January 6 protestors. Or moms who speak up at school board meetings.

These brave, counter-cultural Christians will step forth and champion, even bravely take funding from, leftist billionaires like George Soros. They’ll defend helpless universities like Harvard, and shelter global media companies from threatening figures on Twitter. They will carefully spare the feelings of executives at TV networks, of courageous figures at Disney who dare to enlighten toddlers about “alternative” sexual practices, and doctors compassionate enough to profit from sterilizing children.

I wish I had their courage, don’t you? Then I might be writing for some plucky, contrarian venue like Christianity Today or The New York Times, alongside prophetic figures such as Russell Moore and David French. Instead … well here I am, serving the toxic, white male oligarchy. (I told you I was as capable of sarcasm as the next guy.)

Kiss Up, Kick Down, as Your Father in Heaven Does

People have sometimes suggested that I am mean-spirited, for throwing my tiny pebbles at the Antichrist’s Juggernaut as it rolls right over us. Such people are keen to stay on the good side of the powerful, to kiss up and kick down as the Gospels (somewhere, they’re certain!) teach us to do. They already have their reward, the little Milk Bones from their masters that lapdogs value so highly.

But in fact I’m not. I’m kind of a softy. I don’t even have the heart sometimes to deliver people the shellacking that they deserve so richly, the stones seem to cry out for it. And here I intend to prove it.

A Guide to Breathing While Black

Assuming you haven’t eaten recently, read the following press release that somebody sent me.

Hi,

The NAACP just issued a travel advisory on Florida, calling the state “openly hostile” to people of color and LGBTQ+ individuals.

The statement says: “Before traveling to Florida, please understand that the state of Florida devalues and marginalizes the contributions of, and the challenges faced by African Americans and other communities of color.”

If you’re covering this timely story, I’d love to offer Zee Clarke, author of Black People Breathe (3/14/2023 Penguin Random House) a Harvard MBA whose life work is teaching mindfulness and breathwork to people of color, helping them survive stress, anxiety, microaggressions and systemic racism.

If you have to travel to Florida, Zee can offer breathwork practices and mindfulness tools to calm anxiety about what might happen to you there. These include 4-7-8 breathing to alleviate stress on the nervous system, a 3-part breath for grounding, and more. A hostile/toxic environment like this will stimulate the fight or flight response, so being prepared before travel is critical to protect mental and physical health, and to stay safe and calm.

As a Black woman herself, these practices that have been essential to her well-being.

Zee has been featured in PIX11, ABC7 Chicago, Forbes, CNBC, INSIDER, Inc, Ebony, Essence, and more. Please let me know if you’d like to speak with her and thanks!

Prose Worthy of Frederick Douglass

I know what you’re thinking at this point: John, why didn’t you jump at this opportunity? You absolutely should have arranged an interview with black “breathing expert” Zee Clarke.

She absolutely was super-qualified to be admitted to Harvard Business School — and in no way was the beneficiary of diversity quotas. How do we know that? From the brilliance of her prose alone. How many other Harvard grads can write like this:

I used to think that meditation and yoga were not for people who looked like me. The few times that I attended any such classes, I was the only Black person in the room, which only solidified this misconception. However, the more I learned, the more I realized that Black people actually need these practices the most. And they work. Studies show that mindfulness practices reduce stress, blood pressure, heart disease, and so many more health issues that Black people face on a daily basis as a direct result of the harsh impact of systemic racism, microaggressions, and overt hate crimes on our lives. These practices can be used regardless of your religion, and you will feel the effects in real time.

In the following chapters, I’m going to share my personal experiences as a Black woman in America and the specific mindfulness and breathwork practices that have worked for me.

Don’t just take my word for it — the best way to truly understand and experience the benefits is to try them out. This isn’t a book to read once and then let sit on your shelf. This is the ultimate guide to your mental and physical health when it comes to racism. The next time you’re stopped by the police, the next time someone touches your hair without asking, the next time a white person says or does something that makes you so angry that you want to do something more Malcolm X than MLK, come back to this book for specific breathwork or mindfulness techniques that you can use to heal. Video tutorials of key practices can be found at zeeclarke.com/resources to guide you along the way.

It is our right to survive. It is our right to thrive. Mindfulness and breathwork will help you do just that.

What’s a Breathing Exercise for a Crime Victim in Chicago?

And it certainly would be tempting. Nothing would warm the cockles of my dark heart more than to pose questions like these (in a breathy, maybe Darth Vader voice) to an inhalation/exhalation specialist such as Ms. Clarke:

• When did Florida repeal its civil rights and voting rights laws? I must have missed that. Which breathing exercises did you use to handle it when you learned of this? Why are you the only person who seems to know about it?
• Do you consider the new law protecting unborn black babies (and others) after six weeks of pregnancy “racist”?
• Is Gov. Ron DeSantis’s campaign against Disney “racist” too? Which part of grooming kids for surgical mutilation and encouraging them to daydream about love affairs with Satan is inspired by black culture? I mean, I don’t pretend to be an expert here … but you are!
• What kind of breathing exercises should black people pursued by felons in Democrat-run Chicago or Baltimore use — apart from panting desperately after running for their lives? (No travel advisories for those places, which the NAACP apparently considers safe by comparison.)

But dear readers, I want to point out … I did not conduct such an interview. Even though friends begged me to.

Not because Zee Clarke is disadvantaged or marginalized. She isn’t. She’s a Harvard MBA whose new book promoting crackpot conspiracy theories about fictional “systemic racism” and goofy breathing exercises is being sold by an imprint of publishing giant Random House, and repped by a PR agency. She’s grifting on the tribalist lies of Marxist activists, and peddling paranoia. She’s a priestess of Baal if there ever was one.

I just didn’t have the heart to get her on video and mock her as she deserves. Maybe I’m getting squishy in middle age.

In fact, just to build bridges with the Baal/grifter community, let me share one of the videos from Clarke’s “Resource Page.” Here’s her breathing exercise for using when you feel “triggered.”

You’re welcome.

 

John Zmirak is a senior editor at The Stream and author or co-author of ten books, including The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration and The Politically Incorrect Guide to Catholicism. He is co-author with Jason Jones of “God, Guns, & the Government.”