I awoke today, at the dawn of the impeachment hearings, with one phrase running through my head: “The Democrats sure are stupid.” 

This wasn’t a malicious thought. It was actually one of concern. 

How does this end any way but bad for them? It’s a foregone conclusion: The Senate will acquit Trump, perhaps even with an immediate motion to dismiss. But the process will be their poison. And in that process they’ll turn Trump into a folk hero. 

America Loves Fair

The American people like fairness. “May the best man win,” is right up there with “All men are created equal.” “Fair shake” is right up there with milkshakes, in the heart of the nation. Hold a fair election, and however it turns out we congratulate the winner and move on. If we’re up for a promotion all we really ask for is a level playing field. In a sporting match, if the rules are equally applied, we shake hands at the end and say “good game.” 

What’s unfolding today is not a good game. It’s not a fair shake for the president. It’s not on the level. And all because the Democrats could not congratulate the winner and move on. 

The American people are tuning in for a procedural crime drama where the defense does not get to present a case. The defense gets to present no witnesses. The defense can’t even present certain witnesses the prosecution had interviewed behind closed doors …  because they undermine the prosecution’s case.

Most shockingly, the defense cannot even hear from the Whistleblower who ignited this mess. A man who, as we explained yesterday, played host to both of the concerns raised by President Trump on his call with the Ukraine president. In fact, Adam Schiff is threatening to file ethics violations if anyone dares bring him up. I say “Bring him up, Schiff’s ethics complaints be damned.” (Besides, Adam Schiff talking about ethics is like, well, Adam Schiff talking about ethics.)

Schiff’s sitting up there with a massive thumb on the scale and a middle finger raised at due process. Worse for Democrats, it’s not like he comes across like a fair-minded bastion of justice. He’s the ambulance-chasing attorney from 2 a.m. ads on cable. 

We’re watching Law & Order with neither law nor order. And no Sam Waterson or Fred Thompson in sight. 

Yet Trump Wins

And yet Trump will still win.

Despite the fixed inquisition, despite 96 percent of network coverage of the impeachment being fully anti-Trump, he is going to win. Think, now, thoughtful Democrats: How does America react to those who win despite the fix being in? How do we react to the character who somehow escapes all the traps laid for him? 

Take a look at this character for a second. Targeted by The Clinton Machine. The Bush Machine. The Obama Machine. The FBI. The CIA. The DOJ. The DNI. The Russia Hoax. A two-year investigation by Mueller’s partisan prosecutors with a mandate of destruction. Beat them all. 

So what happens when he wins this unfair fight? He’s Rocky at the end of Rocky IV. Bloodied, but victorious and covered in the American flag. 

The Democrats sure are stupid. 

But What If By Some Miracle the Democrats are Successful?

However, just for fun, let’s suppose they somehow manage to convince enough Romney-esque Republicans to go along with getting rid of the Big Bad Orange. The Senate votes to convict him. He’s removed from office.

Trump takes his supermodel wife, moves out of the cramped quarters of The White House back into the lap of luxury, and goes back to building and hanging out at some of the most beautiful resorts in the world. NBC begs him to reboot The Apprentice for hundreds of millions of dollars. Or he buys CNN at a bargain basement price as a wedding present for Don Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle. Trump then lives out his life knowing he brought hope and opportunity to tens of millions of people discarded by the Democrats and the Swamp. Yeah, that’s really going to stink for him. You sure showed him!

Mike Pence becomes president. And every late night comedy writer weeps and renders their garments. Ratings and revenues plummet for all the outlets who’ve made it their sole business to cover and attack Trump. Pence is more conservative and knows how to play the Washington game. More conservative judges. More conservative actions. And more subtle uses of the system. But no heat. No fuel for the Democratic rage. On the plus side, no need for sleep aids. 

Nikki Haley becomes vice-president … and the likely nominee in 2020. A former governor. A former UN ambassador. Female. Daughter of immigrants. The Republican who brought the Confederate flag down in South Carolina. Someone who not only has Trump’s trust and affection, but will have every single Deplorable behind her fighting with a fury unmatched in American history. And every moderate Democrat sickened by the radical and rabid antics of the past three years ready to stand with her. 

Someone who temperamentally is like that kind and sharp aunt or older sister who you just feel compelled to behave around. Which after the frat riot of the Trump Years, and the shrill insanity of the 2020 Democratic candidates, will be like hot cocoa for the soul of the nation. It’s a guaranteed landslide. And with it a GOP House and a GOP Senate. And a Democrat party in wreckage.

The Democrats sure are stupid. 

But now on with the show …

 

Al Perrotta is the Managing Editor of The Stream and co-author, with @JZmirak, of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration. You can follow him at @StreamingAl. And if you aren’t already, please follow The Stream at @Streamdotorg.