“It took a really dark turn, really fast,” Author and licensed professional counselor Jenita Pace told The Stream. Jenita recently wrote The Healing Names of Jesus: Find Freedom from Depression and Anxiety.

Years ago, as a young pastor’s wife, Jenita came to the point of feeling that she was worthless. “I really believed that my husband would be better without me, that the world would be better without me.”

A Broken Moment

She made the decision that she would take her life. Jenita waited until her husband left for Wednesday night service. She then got everything ready to carry out her plan. But her husband, having forgotten something, returned home. “It was such a broken moment,” she recalled. He took her to the hospital, where she was admitted against her will. 

Their church at the time didn’t understand mental health. “So, they sent the elders out to talk with us and they wanted to know what sin, maybe, I’d committed that would put me in this depression. We felt so alone.” But then one of their professors from college wanted Jenita to meet his wife, someone who had also struggled with depression and anxiety, but had come through the other side. “And so, she came over and just was Jesus to me. She got in the trenches with me.”

Pat helped Jenita get out of bed in the morning and coached her through finding the right medicine. “God’s going to use this,” Pat told Jenita.

Three weeks later, Pat suddenly died. Jenita was heartbroken. She sobbed. Just to get out and clear her head, she walked to the mailbox. “And I opened the box and there was a card from her. She had mailed it the day she died. And it just said, ‘I’m writing this down because I want you to remember that God will use this.'”

‘The Book I Wish I Had’

A few years ago, Jenita felt like God was telling her it was time to tell her story. She wrote The Healing Names of Jesus based on the tools she used during the difficult times. In a way, she’s sharing her journal with readers. “I wanted to write the book I wish I had in 2001.” She felt strength and peace as she prayed and read about the names of Jesus. 

Her research on the names of Jesus became the basis for the book. “The way that I’d personally been bringing God to life was through different metaphors. The Lion of Judah was one that I was using every day.” She wrote 31 names of Jesus in The Healing Names of Jesus. She structured it to contain a name of Jesus, a Scripture reading, a personal story related to the name and a prayer, all in a short chapter. She made chapters short because when she was in a bad place, it was hard to read or even focus. “I wanted it to be short enough but be packed with good things.”

Jenita wants readers to understand how much God loves them, whether they struggle with depression or they are a caregiver of someone who does. “The whole engine driving this love story is the depths of His love.” She added, “If [people] could really grasp the depth of God’s love for them, they’ll have no doubt that they’re worth something.”

For more of Jenita’s story, watch videos here. For a group guide to The Healing Names of Jesus, click here.

Nancy Flory, Ph.D., is a senior editor at The Stream. You can follow her @NancyFlory3, and follow The Stream @Streamdotorg.