It’s a pretty sad card shark who stacks the deck and still loses. 

How is it House Democrats could control the witness list, control what GOP members could talk about, refuse to allow President Trump’s lawyers to be part of the process, have something like 96% of the media coverage cheering them on like teen girls at a Taylor Swift concert and still lose ground on Impeachment? In fact, they’ve done such a good job of convincing America Donald Trump should be removed his approval numbers actually went up. 

After two weeks of such a one-sided affair, Donald Trump’s fate should look sealed. Give a competent prosecutor two weeks, and rules of evidence out the window, they could make Mr. Rogers look like a mass murderer. But thanks to Schiff and company, instead of talking about how Trump’s goose is cooked, impeachment is just looking like another turkey. 

Hemingway on Why Impeachment Hearings a Dud

Why? The Federalist’s Mollie Hemingway lays out in wonderful fashion 7 reasons “How Republicans Won Round One of Impeachment.” 

1. It was completely unclear what crime, much less what high crime, Trump was accused of committing.
2. The hearings were boring and complicated.
3. Adam Schiff lacks credibility.
4. Democrats’ witnesses kept making Trump’s case for him.
5. GOP members stayed on message about the unfairness of the proceedings.
6. The media generally overpromised and underachieved.
7. The general wackiness of the Resistance.

Hemingway’s right, starting with the lack of a crime. What precisely is Trump accused of doing? With Bill Clinton, you knew. For example, he lied under oath about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. The question was, should he be impeached and removed for it.

Democrats spent two weeks shouting “Trump’s guilty!” And if you ask, “Of what, exactly?” “Uh, we have to ask our focus group. We’ll get back to you on that.” Who has time for that nonsense? Not the American people.

Democratic Accusers

The Democrats are standing on Main Street, USA, pointing to an outline of a body taped on the street. They’re calling out to the busy townfolk starting to bustle around for the holidays.

“Trump’s a murderer!”

“What?! Who was murdered?”

“Zelensky.”

“We just talked to Zelensky. He’s fine.”

“No, Trump murdered him. See this outline?”

“That’s just an outline you put there.  You don’t even have a body. AND ZELENSKY’S INSISTING HE WASN’T MURDERED!”

“Well, Trump’s still guilty. Look at all these witnesses!”

“But we’ve asked the witnesses point-blank. None of them saw a murder.  In fact, most say they only heard that there may have been a murder.”

 The townfolk, even those with no particular fondness for Trump, turn away. “This has been fun, but I’ve got a turkey dinner to prepare for.”

Casting is Everything

Hemingway also talks about Schiff’s lack of credibility.

Why is the new movie about Mr. Rogers getting such great reviews? Casting, for one thing. They cast Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers. Sure, Hanks is a two-time Oscar winner, and could probably play Satan with the right script. But here the casting is a natural because Hanks has spent decades building up a reputation as one of the “nice guys” in entertainment. There’s a crucial genial likability that oozes out of the guy.

Only thing oozing out of Schiff is slime. And yet Democrats cast Adam Schiff as the lead in the Impeachment Drama. 

Schiff is not only a partisan hack who had spent three years lying about Trump Russia Collusion. (There are plenty of those floating around.) Problem is he looks and acts downright reptilian. Like the sleazy lawyer who gets the child molester off on a technicality. The soft-spoken henchman who advises he’s got 57 ways to make you talk, each more painful than the next. And boy, does he love his job. 

The Democrats needed a Tom Hanks leading the charge. They gave us Kevin Spacey.

Now It’s Too Late

Now it’s too late. They can’t recast the role. No reshoots allowed. The Impeachment Drama had its two weeks to open and do well enough to expand to more screens.

Instead, it tanked like Charlie’s Angels. Some reboots are just very bad ideas. The Impeachment Drama is one of them.

And now, on to those preparations for Thanksgiving.

Al Perrotta is the Managing Editor of The Stream and co-author, with @JZmirak, of The Politically Incorrect Guide to Immigration. You can follow him at @StreamingAl. And if you aren’t already, please follow The Stream at @Streamdotorg.