Have you ever crossed the Rubicon with anyone? One who is open with you? One who senses his or her obligations in a relationship? One who rises to your defense when the need arises? Do you have a friend who is truly objective, one who understands the importance of reciprocation in a relationship and who gives as much as they take in the process? One who loves you even when you have been wrong and may least deserve it? Do you have a friend who is optimistic, one who always believes the best in you?
Perhaps a much more pertinent question is this: Are you a committed and loyal friend? Are you open with others in your inner circle? Or do you too often keep your guard up? Do you build barriers with others, or do you build bridges? Do you sense an obligation to anyone? Have you stood up for anyone recently? Are you objective? Or are you too quick to forget the investment others have made in your life? Are you slow to reciprocate? Do others see you as optimistic?
Building positive and productive relationships with others goes back to making sure we are firmly connected at the source through our own personal relationship with Jesus Christ – that is, getting plugged in to our spiritual power. Jesus has made a commitment to you. He crossed the Rubicon on a Roman cross to relate to you. He is open. He always builds bridges, never barriers. He defends you and will be your advocate before the Father in the coming Day of Judgment. He is objective, no respecter of persons. And in His optimism, He brings out the best in us.
Commitment seems to be a lost word in our modern vocabulary. There is a Rubicon in every personal relationship, a river we cross from which there is no turning back. Many get right up to the bank of the river, but that is as far as they get. But others go forward with four steps that lead to a moment of commitment. They know true commitment demands being open with one another, the ability to be honest and to take a risk. They also have a healthy sense of obligation to each other, always rising to the other’s defense. They are objective and optimistic, believing in each other and bringing out the very best in one another.
Most of us are fairly well versed in the art of commitment. We are committed to our jobs. We show up on time and put in an honest day’s work. We are committed to all sorts of social clubs, athletic teams, garden clubs, and the like. We show up because we have made a commitment to the team. Many of us are quick to make up meetings of civic clubs if we miss them. We know a lot about commitment, and it is never more vital than in the art of building positive relationships.
In Paul’s words, set out to refresh someone’s heart this week. Do something for someone. Perform some act of kindness. Do someone a favor that is totally unsolicited. Pay someone a sincere compliment. Loyalty breeds loyalty in relationships.
If you need a few suggestions – refresh the heart of someone who regularly serves you at a local restaurant this week. Pay a compliment. Rise to his or her defense. Give an extra tip.
Refresh the heart of your husband or wife. Be objective about it. Give without expecting anything in return. Do a good deed that may even be out of character for you this week. Buy her some flowers. Write a letter, and stick it in his briefcase.
Refresh the hearts of your children. Some of us are committed to a lot of things but not to fatherhood. Cross the Rubicon with your kids. Let them know how much you believe in them to do the right thing. With an optimistic spirit, let them know you are proud of them and you will help bring out the very best in them.
Refresh the heart of a friend. Take a risk. Be open. Let someone have a peek into your own heart. Build a bridge. Honesty and openness will get you started. Believe in someone – and let them know it.
There should be a “Rubicon” in every close interpersonal relationship, a line of commitment we cross in which we are “in” for the duration. Commitment is one of the missing elements in modern relationships. The secret to ongoing connections is to cross the Rubicon of relationships by making a commitment to one another that lasts a lifetime.
Excerpted from The Connection Code by O.S. Hawkins. Copyright ©2023 Dr. O.S. Hawkins. Published by Thomas Nelson, a registered trademark of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc. Used by permission.
