I just read the op-ed by “Anonymous” in the New York Times, revealing the “secret” that some of President Trump’s own people have been flouting his legal authority.

We’ve known it all along. The administration of our duly elected president, Donald Trump, is honeycombed with people who have no business working for him. He shouldn’t have hired them, but did so, perhaps in order to heal the wounds of his divisive primary campaign. Big mistake, as big as Ronald Reagan’s error in letting “Bushies” take key jobs and purge real Reaganites. My old friend, and early Reagan booster, Ambassador Faith Whittlesey, spoke bitterly 30 years later of the damage those people did.

Wonder why Reagan wasted most of his Supreme Court picks, giving us Sandra Day O’Connor instead of Robert Bork? Anthony Kennedy instead of Lino Graglia? You can thank the Bushies.

Our Secret Government

Maybe you wonder why some of Trump’s loudest campaign issues, such as building a Wall, defunding Planned Parenthood, have gone exactly nowhere. You can thank the clubby cabal which has been sabotaging the president, working with RINOs and globalists in Congress to thwart him.

And today you can thank the NeverTrumpers who had the gall to go work for the man himself. You can thank them for the self-serving, smug manifesto which one of their team had the gall to publish in the New York Times. Unlike an honest whistleblower, he didn’t go public. Didn’t put on his big-boy pants and sign his name, then face the consequences. Or offer verifiable facts, which could be checked and perhaps discredited. Nope. Instead he acted like a mole, an infiltrator, a spy.

Imagine, by comparison, that Barack Obama found out his administration was employing some of the people who invented the “Birther” issue for Hillary Clinton during the primaries. (Yes, that was Hillary’s issue first.) And that they were still working on her behalf, against him. Would the media be treating such people as heroes?

Mr. Mole and His Junta

The faceless, nameless author (let’s call him Mr. Mole) represents a junta, which discussed a coup, and this is their pronunciamento. That’s the kind of speech colonels in failed states read from the presidential palace after they’ve seized the state TV network and locked the elected leader in a closet. Or assassinated him, as Mr. Mole is assassinating President Trump’s character with unverifiable anecdotes and rumors.

The coup-plotters are acting in a dank, un-American fashion. We aren’t a nation of secret intrigues, Deep State permanent government, and paternalistic castes that ignore the will of the people. At least that’s not what we were founded to be. That country which Mr. Mole and the rest of his colony want to inhabit, and rule in secret, deserves another name. Let’s label it accurately.

They’re citizens of Elitistan. It’s a one-party state, where two factions of crony capitalists and Ivy League trained technocrats compete to see which one gets the job of gulling the public. Of shipping their jobs overseas and replacing them with immigrants. Of conning them into foreign wars that benefit private interests, or utopian pet projects, like a “democratic Middle East.”

With that in mind, let me take on the irksome task of translating Mr. Mole’s pronunciamento from Old High Elitistani into plain, honest English.

A Loyal Citizen of Elitistan

I will go paragraph by tedious, self-congratulatory paragraph — skipping only the parts that are bland, dishonest butt-covering. You might want to down a Dramamine.

To be clear, ours is not the popular “resistance” of the left. We want the administration to succeed and think that many of its policies have already made America safer and more prosperous.

But we believe our first duty is to this country, and the president continues to act in a manner that is detrimental to the health of our republic.

That is why many Trump appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our democratic institutions while thwarting Mr. Trump’s more misguided impulses until he is out of office.

Okay, who gets to decide what’s “detrimental to the health of our republic”? Who makes that call, in America? The voters, every four years. In extreme cases, the Congress, with its power to impeach and remove a president. And to some degree the Supreme Court, which can rein in unconstitutional abuses. Below is a list of people who don’t get to decide that:

• Newspapers, TV networks, and social media companies.
• Hollywood actors and pop music icons.
• FBI agents.
• Power-hungry, frustrated supporters of losing presidential candidates who’ve wormed their way into the administration of the winning one.

Moving on, Mr. Mole opines:

The root of the problem is the president’s amorality. Anyone who works with him knows he is not moored to any discernible first principles that guide his decision making.

It’s hard to untangle the complexities of Elitistani grammar, but as near as I can make out this means: “I went to work for someone who has been saying almost the same set of things since the late 1980s, but it doesn’t meet my test for intellectual coherence, so I will pretend it’s just blind, irrational rage. And enact instead the policies of the candidate I supported.”

Next:

In addition to his mass-marketing of the notion that the press is the “enemy of the people,” President Trump’s impulses are generally anti-trade and anti-democratic.

Again, plain English can’t do this justice. But Mr. Mole appears to be saying that if he disagrees with a elected president’s “impulses,” it’s acceptable for the “right sort of people, harrumph” to sabotage his policies. That will at least help them keep on the good side of the oligarchs who dominate our mass media.

All Credit Is Mine

Onward!

[S]uccesses have come despite — not because of — the president’s leadership style, which is impetuous, adversarial, petty and ineffective.

Have you got that? Our roaring economy, success at dismantling anti-American trade barriers, defeat of ISIS, and progress on disarming North Korea? The successful confirmation of one (soon TWO) real Constitutionalist(s) to the U.S. Supreme Court? Our historic tax cuts? The overdue move in support of Israel by moving our embassy to its historic capital, Jerusalem? Our escape from the backdoor, undemocratically enacted Paris Climate Accord and disastrous Iran Deal?

None of that is thanks to the president. It’s thanks to Mr. Mole and his fellow coup plotters. Good to know!

Sorry, but there’s more:

From the White House to executive branch departments and agencies, senior officials will privately admit their daily disbelief at the commander in chief’s comments and actions. Most are working to insulate their operations from his whims.

Meetings with him veer off topic and off the rails, he engages in repetitive rants, and his impulsiveness results in half-baked, ill-informed and occasionally reckless decisions that have to be walked back.

Sure, we’ve had presidents like Lyndon Johnson who made aides brief him while he was sitting on the toilet. Like John F. Kennedy who slept with college-age interns in the West Wing. Like George W. Bush, who invaded Iraq without knowing the difference between Sunnis and Shi’ites. (Even his staff sneered at the “reality-based community.”) None of their appointees hunkered down to obstruct them.

But this time it’s different. This president is really, really tacky. He offends our self-esteem. So we’ve got to seize control.

Saving Voters from Themselves

Moving forward:

The erratic behavior would be more concerning if it weren’t for unsung heroes in and around the White House. … It may be cold comfort in this chaotic era, but Americans should know that there are adults in the room. We fully recognize what is happening. And we are trying to do what’s right even when Donald Trump won’t.

This part is clear in any language. You should be really, really grateful to us in the secret government. We’re protecting you foolish voters from your own self-destructive choices. Now just take those blue pills the nice orderly is offering you, and wash it down with Kool-Aid, you poor, deplorable rubes.

If your stomach still has any contents, grab a bucket.

Mr. Mole goes on to cite a number of foreign policy decisions where globalists won out over Trump’s own America-First agenda. And duly takes credit for them, too.

Hijacking the Constitution

Then the real kicker comes. In case you thought I was being a little overheated in using the word “coup,” let me put your fears at rest:

Given the instability many witnessed, there were early whispers within the cabinet of invoking the 25th Amendment, which would start a complex process for removing the president. But no one wanted to precipitate a constitutional crisis. So we will do what we can to steer the administration in the right direction until — one way or another — it’s over.

That Amendment, of course, was written for cases like Woodrow Wilson’s, where the president is physically or mentally incapacitated for long periods of time. It’s for times when “the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office.” No sane judge would argue that this is a loophole for letting the Cabinet or the Vice-President decide that the President is morally, or intellectually, or otherwise an unfit person to hold his office. That’s for voters to decide. You know, in America. But not in Elitistan. There the “adults in the room” conspire behind closed doors to reverse the will of the voters.

Sleeping with the Enemy

If your stomach still has any contents, grab a bucket. Mr. Mole next compares himself and his coup-plotters to Senator John McCain. He cites McCain’s dogged, embittered opposition to President Trump, by way of support. But he gets things exactly backwards. John McCain became justly famous for enduring under torture, and refusing special treatment by his captors.

What Mr. Mole is doing is very different. He’s acting like an American soldier who enlisted in the Vietnam War, convinced that it was unjust and damaged American interests. So he took it upon himself to help our Communist enemies win, since he knew better than the President who sent him there. We don’t call such soldiers “heroes.” We call them “traitors.”

That’s a good word for men who lie, keep secrets, scheme for unearned power, win their employers’ trust and betray them, and grab every piece of credit they can from an enterprise which they sabotaged.